Chapter CV: Act II: Scene I.3531

_Enter_ MIRABEL, PINAC, _and_ BELLEUR.

_Mir._ Ne’er tell me of this happiness; ’t is nothing:
The state[3532] they bring with being sought-to,[3533] scurvy:
I had rather make mine own play, and I will do.
My happiness is in mine own content,
And the despising of such glorious[3534] trifles, 5
As I have done a thousand more. For my humour,
Give me a good free fellow, that sticks to me,
A jovial fair companion; there’s a beauty!
For women, I can have too many of them;
Good women too, as the age reckons ’em, 10
More than I have employment for.

_Pin._ You are happy.

_Mir._ My only fear is, that I must be forced,
Against my nature, to conceal myself:
Health and an able body are two jewels.

_Pin._ If either of these two women were offered to me now, 15
I would think otherwise, and do accordingly;
Yes, and recant my heresies; I would,[3535] sir;
And be more tender of opinion,
And put a little of my travell’d liberty
Out of the way, and look upon ’em seriously. 20
Methinks, this grave-carried wench——

_Bel._ Methinks, the other,
The home-spoken gentlewoman, that desires to be fruitful,
That treats of the full manage of the matter,
(For there lies all my aim,) that wench, methinks, 25
If I were but well set on, for she is affable,
If I were but hounded right, and one to teach me—
She speaks to th’ matter, and comes home to th’ point—
Now do I know I have such a body to please her
As all the kingdom cannot fit her with, I am sure on ’t, 30
If I could but talk myself into her favour.

_Mir._ That ’s easily done.

_Bel._ That ’s easily said; would ’t were done!
You should see then how I would lay about me.
If I were virtuous, it would never grieve me,
Or any thing that might justify my modesty; 35
But when my nature is prone to do a charity,
And my calf’s tongue will not help me——

_Mir._ Will ye go to ’em?
They cannot but take it courteously.

_Pin._ I ’ll do my part.
Though I am sure ’t will be the hardest I e’er play’d yet 39
A way I never tried too, which will stagger me;
And, if it do not shame me, I am happy.

_Mir._ Win ’em, and wear ’em; I give up my interest.

_Pin._ What say you. Monsieur Belleur?

_Bel._ Would I could say,
Or sing, or any thing that were but handsome!
I would be with her presently!

_Pin._ Yours is no venture; 45
A merry ready wench.

_Bel._ A vengeance squibber;[3536]
She ’ll fleer me out of faith too.

_Mir._ I ’ll be near thee;
Pluck up thy heart; I ’ll second thee at all brunts.[3537]
Be angry, if she abuse thee, and beat her a little;
Some women are won that way.

_Bel._ Pray, be quiet, 50
And let me think: I am resolv’d to go on;
But how I shall get off again——

_Mir._ I am persuaded
Thou wilt so please her, she will go near to ravish thee.

_Bel._ I would ’t were come to that once! Let me pray a little.

_Mir._ Now, for thine honour, Pinac, board me this modesty; 55
Warm but this frozen snow-ball, ’t will be a conquest
(Although I know thou art a fortunate wencher,
And hast done rarely in thy days) above all thy ventures.

_Bel._ You will be ever near?

_Mir._ At all necessities; 59
And take thee off, and set thee on again, boy,
And cherish thee, and stroke thee.

_Bel._ Help me out too;
For I know I shall stick i’ th’ mire. If you see us close once,
Be gone, and leave me to my fortune, suddenly,
For I am then determin’d to do wonders.
Farewell, and fling an old shoe. How my heart throbs! 65
Would I were drunk! Farewell, Pinac; Heaven send us
A joyful and a merry meeting, man!

_Pin._ Farewell,
And cheer thy heart up; and remember, Belleur,
They are but women.

_Bel._ I had rather they were lions.

_Mir._ About it; I ’ll be with you instantly.—
_Exeunt_ [BELLEUR _and_ PINAC].
_Enter_ ORIANA.
Shall I ne’er be at rest? No peace of conscience? 71
No quiet for these creatures? Am I ordain’d
To be devour’d quick[3538] by these she-cannibals?
Here ’s another they call handsome; I care not for her,
I ne’er look after her. When I am half-tippled,
It may be I should turn her, and peruse her; 76
Or, in my want of women, I might call for her;
But to be haunted when I have no fancy,
No maw to th’ matter—[_Aside._] Now, why do you follow me? 79

_Ori._ I hope, sir, ’t is no blemish to my virtue;
Nor need you, out of scruple, ask that question,
If you remember ye, before your travel,
The contract you tied to me. ’T is my love, sir,
That makes me seek ye, to confirm your memory;
And, that being fair and good, I cannot suffer.
I come to give ye thanks too.

_Mir._ For what, prithee? 86

_Ori._ For that fair piece of honesty you show’d sir,
That constant nobleness.

_Mir._ How? for I am short-headed.

_Ori._ I ’ll tell you then; for refusing that free offer
Of Monsieur Nantolet’s, those handsome beauties, 90
Those two prime ladies, that might well have press’d ye
If not to have broken, yet to have bow’d your promise.
I know it was for my sake, for your faith-sake,
You slipt ’em off; your honesty compell’d ye;
And let me tell ye, sir, it show’d most handsomely. 95

_Mir._ And let me tell thee, there was no such matter;
Nothing intended that way, of that nature.
I have more to do with my honesty than to fool it,
Or venture it in such leak barks as women.
I put ’em off because I lov’d ’em not, 100
Because they are too queasy[3539] for my temper,
And not for thy sake, nor the contract-sake,
Nor vows, nor oaths; I have made a thousand of ’em;
They are things indifferent, whether kept or broken;
Mere venial slips, that grow not near the conscience; 105
Nothing concerns those tender parts; they are trifles;
For, as I think, there was never man yet hop’d for
Either constancy or secrecy from a woman,
Unless it were an ass ordain’d for sufferance;
Nor to contract with such can be a tie-all. 110
So let them know again; for ’t is a justice
And a main point of civil policy,
Whate’er we say or swear, they being reprobates,
Out of the state of faith, we are clear of all sides,
And ’t is a curious blindness to believe us. 115

_Ori._ You do not mean this, sure?

_Mir._ Yes, sure, and certain;
And hold it positively, as a principle,
As ye are strange things, and made of strange fires and fluxes,
So we are allow’d as strange ways to obtain ye,
But not to hold; we are all created errant. 120

_Ori._ You told me other tales.

_Mir._ I not deny it;
I have tales of all sorts for all sorts of women,
And protestations likewise of all sizes,
As they have vanities to make us coxcombs.
If I obtain a good turn, so it is, 125
I am thankful for it; if I be made an ass,
The ’mends are in mine own hands, or the surgeon’s.
And there’s an end on ’t.

_Ori._ Do not you love me, then?

_Mir._ As I love others; heartily I love thee;
When I am high and lusty, I love thee cruelly.
After I have made a plenteous meal, and satisfied 131
My senses with all delicates, come to me,
And thou shalt see how I love thee.

_Ori._ Will not you marry me?

_Mir._ No, certain, no, for any thing I know yet.
I must not lose my liberty, dear lady, 136
And, like a wanton slave, cry for more shackles.
What should I marry for? Do I want any thing?
Am I an inch the farther from my pleasure?
Why should I be at charge to keep a wife of mine own, 140
When other honest married men will ease me.
And thank me too, and be beholding to me?
Thou think’st I am mad for a maidenhead; thou art cozen’d:
Or, if I were addicted to that diet,
Can you tell me where I should have one? Thou art eighteen now, 145
And, if thou hast thy maidenhead yet extant,
Sure, ’t is as big as cods-head; and those grave dishes
I never love to deal withal. Dost thou see this book here?
[_Shows a book._]
Look over all these ranks; all these are women,
Maids, and pretenders to maidenheads; these are my conquests; 150
All these I swore to marry, as I swore to thee,
With the same reservation, and most righteously:
Which I need not have done neither; for, alas, they made no scruple,
And I enjoy’d ’em at my will, and left ’em.
Some of ’em are married since, and were as pure maids again, 155
Nay, o’ my conscience, better than they were bred for;
The rest, fine sober women.

_Ori._ Are ye not ashamed, sir?

_Mir._ No, by my troth, sir;[3540] there ’s no shame belongs to it;
I hold it as commendable to be wealthy in pleasure,
As others do in rotten sheep and pasture. 160

_Enter_ DE GARD.

_Ori._ Are all my hopes come to this? Is there no faith,
No troth, nor modesty, in men? [_Weeps._]

_De Gard._ How now, sister?
Why weeping thus? Did I not prophesy?
Come, tell me why—

_Ori._ I am not well; pray ye pardon me. _Exit._

_De Gard._ Now, Monsieur Mirabel, what ails my sister? 165
You have been playing the wag with her.

_Mir._ As I take it,
She is crying for a cod-piece. Is she gone?
Lord, what an age is this! I was calling for ye;
For, as I live, I thought she would have ravish’d me.

_De Gard._ Ye are merry, sir. 170

_Mir._ Thou know’st this book, De Gard, this inventory?

_De Gard._ The debt-book of your mistresses; I remember it.

_Mir._ Why, this was it that anger’d her; she was stark mad
She found not her name here; and cried downright
Because I would not pity her immediately, 175
And put her in my list.

_De Gard._ Sure, she had more modesty.

_Mir._ Their modesty is anger to be overdone;
They’ll quarrel sooner for precedence here,
And take it in more dudgeon to be slighted,
Than they will in public meetings; ’t is their natures: 180
And, alas, I have so many to despatch yet,
And to provide myself for my affairs too,
That, in good faith——

_De Gard._ Be not too glorious[3541] foolish;
Sum not your travels up with vanities;
It ill becomes your expectation.[3542] 185
Temper your speech, sir: whether your loose story
Be true or false, (for you are so free, I fear it,)
Name not my sister in ’t; I must not hear it.
Upon your danger, name her not! I hold her
A gentlewoman of those happy parts and carriage, 190
A good man’s tongue may be right proud to speak her.

_Mir._ Your sister, sir! D’ ye blench at that? D’ ye cavil?
Do you hold her such a piece she may not be play’d withal?
I have had an hundred handsomer and nobler
Have su’d to me, too, for such a courtesy; 195
Your sister comes i’ the rear. Since ye are so angry,
And hold your sister such a strong recusant,
I tell ye, I may do it; and, it may be, will too;
It may be, have too; there ’s my free confession;
Work upon that now!

_De Gard._ If I thought ye had, I would work,
And work such stubborn work should make your heart ache: 201
But I believe ye, as I ever knew ye,
A glorious talker, and a legend-maker
Of idle tales and trifles; a depraver 204
Of your own truth: their honours fly about[3543] ye!
And so, I take my leave; but with this caution,
Your sword be surer than your tongue; you ’ll smart else.

_Mir._ I laugh at thee, so little I respect thee;
And I ’ll talk louder, and despise thy sister; 209
Set up a chamber-maid that shall outshine her.
And carry her in my coach too, and that will kill her.
Go, get thy rents up, go!

_De Gard._ Ye are a fine gentleman! _Exit._

_Mir._ Now, have at my two youths! I ’ll see how they do;
How they behave themselves; and then I ’ll study
What wench shall love me next, and when I ’ll loose[3544] her.
_Exit._ 215

SCENE II.[3545]

_Enter_ PINAC _and_ Servant.

_Pin._ Art thou her servant, sayest thou?

_Serv._ Her poor creature;
But servant to her horse, sir.

_Pin._ Canst thou show me
The way to her chamber, or where I may conveniently
See her, or come to talk to her?

_Serv._ That I can, sir;
But the question is, whether I will or no.

_Pin._ Why, I ’ll content thee. 5

_Serv._ Why, I ’ll content thee, then; now ye come to me.

_Pin._ There ’s for your diligence. [_Gives money._]

_Serv._ There ’s her chamber, sir.
And this way she comes out; stand ye but here, sir,
You have her at your prospect or your pleasure.

_Pin._ Is she not very angry?

_Serv._ You ’ll find that quickly.
May be she ’ll call ye saucy, scurvy fellow, 11
Or some such familiar name; may be she knows ye
And will fling a piss-pot at ye, or a pantofle,[3546]
According as ye are in acquaintance. If she like ye,
May be she ’ll look upon ye; may be no; 15
And two months hence call for ye.

_Pin._ This is fine.
She is monstrous proud, then?

_Serv._ She is a little haughty;
Of a small body, she has a mind well mounted.
Can you speak Greek?

_Pin._ No, certain.

_Serv._ Get ye gone, then!—
And talk of stars, and firmaments, and firedrakes? 20
Do you remember who was Adam’s schoolmaster,
And who taught Eve to spin? She knows all these,
And will run ye over the beginning o’ th’ world
As familiar as a fiddler.
Can you sit seven hours together, and say nothing? 25
Which she will do, and, when she speaks, speak oracles,
Speak things that no man understands, nor herself neither.

_Pin._ Thou mak’st me wonder.

_Serv._ Can ye smile?

_Pin._ Yes, willingly;
For naturally I bear a mirth about me.

_Serv._ She ’ll ne’er endure ye, then; she is never merry; 30
If she see one laugh, she ’ll swound past _aqua vitae_.
Never come near her, sir; if ye chance to venture,
And talk not like a doctor, you are damn’d too.
I have told ye enough for your crown, and so, good speed you! _Exit._

_Pin._ I have a pretty task, if she be thus curious, 35
As, sure, it seems she is! If I fall off now,
I shall be laugh’d at fearfully; if I go forward,
I can but be abus’d, and that I look for;
And yet I may hit right, but ’t is unlikely.
Stay: in what mood and figure shall I attempt her? 40
A careless way? No, no, that will not waken her:
Besides, her gravity will give me line still,
And let me lose myself: yet this way often
Has hit, and handsomely. A wanton method?
Ay, if she give it leave to sink into her consideration: 45
But there’s the doubt: if it but stir her blood once,
And creep into the crannies of her fancy,
Set her a-gog;—but, if she chance to slight it,
And by the power of her modesty fling it back,
I shall appear the arrant’st rascal to her, 50
The most licentious knave, for I shall talk lewdly.
To bear myself austerely? Rate my words?
And fling a general gravity about me.
As if I meant to give laws? But this I cannot do.
This is a way above my understanding; 55
Or, if I could, ’t is odds she’ll think I mock her;
For serious and sad things are ever still suspicious.
Well, I ’ll say something:
But learning I have none, and less good manners,
Especially for ladies. Well I ’ll set my best face. 60
_Enter_ LILLIA BIANCA _and_ PETELLA.
I hear some coming. This is the first woman
I ever fear’d yet, the first face that shakes me. [_Retires._]

_Lil._ Give me my hat, Petella; take this veil off,
This sullen cloud; it darkens my delights.
Come, wench, be free, and let the music warble:— 65
Play me some lusty measure.
[_Music within_, _to which presently_ LILLIA _dances_.]

_Pin._ [_Aside._] This is she, sure,
The very same I saw, the very woman,
The gravity I wonder’d at. Stay, stay;
Let me be sure. Ne’er trust me, but she danceth!
Summer is in her face now, and she skippeth!
I ’ll go a little nearer. 71

_Lil._ Quicker time, fellows!
_Enter_ MIRABEL [_and remains at the side of the stage_].
I cannot find my legs yet—Now Petella!

_Pin._ [_Aside._] I am amaz’d; I am founder’d in my fancy!

_Mir._ [_Aside._] Ha! say you so? Is this your gravity? 75
This the austerity you put upon you?
I ’ll see more o’ this sport.

_Lil._ A song now!
Call in for a merry and a light song;
And sing it with a liberal spirit.

_Enter a_ Man.

_Man._ Yes, madam. 80

_Lil._ And be not amaz’d, sirrah, but take us for your own company.—

[_A song by the_ Man _who then exit_.]

Let ’s walk ourselves; come, wench. Would we had a man or two!

_Pin._ [_Aside._] Sure, she has spi’d me, and will abuse me dreadfully.
She has put on this for the purpose: yet I will try her.—
[_Advances._]
Madam, I would be loth my rude intrusion, 85
Which I must crave a pardon for——

_Lil._ Oh, ye are welcome,
Ye are very welcome, sir! We want such a one.
Strike up again!—I dare presume ye dance well:
Quick, quick, sir, quick! the time steals on.

_Pin._ I would talk with you.

_Lil._ Talk as you dance. [_They dance._]

_Mir._ [_Aside._] She ’ll beat him off his legs first. 90
This is the finest masque!

_Lil._ Now, how do ye, sir?

_Pin._ You have given me a shrewd heat.

_Lil._ I ’ll give you a hundred.
Come, sing now, sing: for I know ye sing well;
I see ye have a singing face.

_Pin._ [_Aside._] A fine modesty!
If I could, she’d never give me breath.—Madam, would 95
I might sit and recover!

_Lil._ Sit here, and sing now;
Let ’s do things quickly, sir, and handsomely.—
Sit close, wench, close.—Begin, begin.

_Pin._ I am lesson’d. _A song_ [_by_ PINAC].

_Lil._ ’T is very pretty, i’ faith. Give me some wine now. 100

_Pin._ I would fain speak to you.

_Lil._ You shall drink first, believe me.
Here ’s to you a lusty health. [_They drink._]

_Pin._ I thank you, lady.—
[_Aside._] Would I were off again! I smell my misery;
I was never put to this rack: I shall be drunk too.

_Mir._ [_Aside._] If thou be’st not a right one, I
have lost mine aim much: 105
I thank Heaven that I have scaped thee. To her, Pinac!
For thou art as sure to have her, and to groan for her.—
I’ll see how my other youth does; this speeds trimly.
A fine grave gentlewoman, and worth much honour! _Exit._

_Lil._ Now, how do ye like me, sir?

_Pin._ I like ye rarely. 110

_Lil._ Ye see, sir, though sometimes we are grave and silent,
And put on sadder dispositions,
Yet we are compounded of free parts, and sometimes too
Our lighter, airy, and our fiery mettles
Break out, and show themselves: and what think you of that, sir? 115

_Pin._ Good lady, sit (for I am very weary),
And then I ’ll tell ye.

_Lil._ Fie! a young man idle!
Up, and walk: be still in action;
The motions of the body are fair beauties;
Besides, ’t is cold. ’Ods me, sir, let’s walk faster!
What think ye now of the Lady Felicia? 121
And Bellafronte, the duke’s fair daughter? ha!
Are they not handsome things? There is Duarta.
And brown Olivia——

_Pin._ I know none of ’em.

_Lil._ But brown must not be cast away, sir. If young Lelia 125
Had kept herself till this day from a husband,
Why, what a beauty, sir! You know Ismena,
The fair gem of Saint-Germains?

_Pin._ By my troth, I do not.

_Lil._ And, then, I know, you must hear of Brisac,
How unlike a gentleman——

_Pin._ As I live, I have heard nothing, 130

_Lil._ Strike me another galliard![3547]

_Pin._ By this light, I cannot!
In troth, I have sprain’d my leg, madam.

_Lil._ Now sit ye down, sir,
And tell me why ye came hither? Why ye chose me out?
What is your business? Your errand? Despatch, despatch.
Maybe, you are some gentleman’s man, and I mistook ye, 135
That have brought me a letter, or a haunch of venison,
Sent me from some friend of mine.

_Pin._ Do I look like a carrier?
You might allow me, what I am, a gentleman.

_Lil._ Cry ye mercy, sir! I saw ye yesterday;
You are new-come out of travel; I mistook ye. 140
And how do all our impudent friends in Italy?

_Pin._ Madam, I came with duty, and fair courtesy,
Service, and honour to ye.

_Lil._ Ye came to jeer me.
Ye see I am merry, sir; I have chang’d my copy;
None of the sages now: and, pray ye, proclaim it. 145
Fling on me what aspersion you shall please, sir,
Of wantonness or wildness; I look for it;
And tell the world I am an hypocrite,
Mask in a forc’d and borrow’d shape; I expect it;
But not to have you believ’d: for, mark ye, sir, 150
I have won a nobler estimation,
A stronger tie, by my discretion,
Upon opinion (howe’r you think I forc’d it)
Than either tongue or art of yours can slubber;
And, when I please, I will be what I please, sir, 155
So I exceed not mean;[3548] and none shall brand it,
Either with scorn or shame, but shall be slighted.

_Pin._ Lady, I come to love ye.

_Lil._ Love yourself, sir;
And, when I want observers,[3549] I ’ll send for ye.
Heigh-ho! my fit ’s almost off; for we do all by fits, sir. 160
If ye be weary, sit till I come again to ye.

_Exit_ [_with_ PETELLA].

_Pin._ This is a wench of a dainty spirit; but
Hang me, if I know yet either what to think
Or make of her. She had her will of me,
And baited me abundantly, I thank her; 165
And, I confess, I never was so blurted,[3550]
Nor never so abus’d. I must bear mine own sins.
Ye talk of travels; here ’s a curious country!
Yet I will find her out, or forswear my faculty. _Exit._

SCENE III.[3551]

_Enter_ ROSALURA _and_ ORIANA.

_Ros._ Ne’er vex yourself, nor grieve; ye are a fool, then.

_Ori._ I am sure I am made so: yet, before I suffer
Thus like a girl, and give him leave to triumph——

_Ros._ You say right; for, as long as he perceives ye
Sink under his proud scornings, he ’ll laugh at ye. 5
For me, secure yourself; and, for my sister,
I partly know her mind too: howsoever,
To obey my father, we have made a tender
Of our poor beauties to the travell’d monsieur;
Yet two words to a bargain. He slights us 10
As skittish things, and we shun him as curious.[3552]
May be, my free behaviour turns his stomach,
And makes him seem to doubt a loose opinion.[3553]
I must be so sometimes, though all the world saw it.

_Ori._ Why should not ye? Are our minds only measur’d? 15
As long as here ye stand secure——

_Ros._ Ye say true;
As long as mine own conscience makes no question,
What care I for report? That woman ’s miserable,
That ’s good or bad for their tongues’ sake. Come, let ’s retire,
And get my veil, wench. By my troth, your sorrow, 20
And the consideration of men’s humorous maddings,
Have put me into a serious contemplation.

_Enter_ MIRABEL _and_ BELLEUR.

_Ori._ Come, faith, let ’s sit and think.

_Ros._ That ’s all my business.

[_They go into the summer-house_, _and sit down_, ROSALURA _having taken her veil from a table_, _and put it on_.][3554]

_Mir._ Why stand’st thou peeping here? Thou great slug, forward!

_Bel._ She is there; peace!

_Mir._ Why stand’st thou here, then, 25
Sneaking and peeking[3555] as thou wouldst steal linen?
Hast thou not place and time?

_Bel._ I had a rare speech
Studied, and almost ready; and your violence
Has beat it out of my brains.

_Mir._ Hang your rare speeches!
Go me on like a man.

_Bel._ Let me set my beard up. 30
How has Pinac performed?

_Mir._ He has won already;
He stands not thrumming[3556] of caps thus.

_Bel._ Lord, what should I ail!
What a cold I have over my stomach! Would I had some hum![3557]
Certain I have a great mind to be at her,
A mighty mind.

_Mir._ On, fool!

_Bel._ Good words, I beseech ye; 35
For I will not be abus’d by both.

_Mir._ Adieu, then
(I will not trouble you; I see you are valiant);
And work your own way.

_Bel._ Hist, hist! I will be rul’d;
I will, i’ faith; I will go presently.
Will ye forsake me now, and leave me i’ th’ suds? 40
You know I am false-hearted this way. I beseech ye,
Good sweet Mirabel—I ’ll cut your throat, if ye leave me,
Indeed I will—sweet-heart—

_Mir._ I will be ready,
Still at thine elbow. Take a man’s heart to thee,
And speak thy mind; the plainer still the better. 45
She is a woman of that free behaviour,
Indeed, that common courtesy, she cannot deny thee.
Go bravely on.

_Bel._ Madam—keep close about me.
Still at my back—Madam, sweet madam—

_Ros._ Ha!
What noise is that? What saucy sound to trouble me? 50

_Mir._ What said she?

_Bel._ I am saucy.
[ROSALURA _and_ ORIANA _rise and come forward_.]

_Mir._ ’T is the better.

_Bel._ She comes; must I be saucy still?

_Mir._ More saucy.

_Ros._ Still troubled with these vanities? Heaven bless us!
What are we born to?—Would you speak with any of my people?
Go in, sir; I am busy.

_Bel._ This is not she, sure: 55
Is this two children at a birth? I ’ll be hang’d, then:
Mine was a merry gentlewoman, talk’d daintily,
Talked of those matters that befitted women;
This is a parcel prayer-book.[3558] I ’m serv’d sweetly!
And now I am to look to; I was prepar’d for th’ other way. 60

_Ros._ Do you know that man?

_Ori._ Sure, I have seen him, lady.

_Ros._ Methinks ’t is pity such a lusty fellow
Should wander up and down, and want employment.

_Bel._ She takes me for a rogue!—You may do well, madam,
To stay this wanderer, and set him a-work, forsooth; 65
He can do something that may please your ladyship.
I have heard of women that desire good breedings,
Two at a birth, or so.

_Ros._ The fellow ’s impudent.

_Ori._ Sure, he is craz’d.

_Ros._ I have heard of men too that have had good manners. 70
Sure, this is want of grace: indeed, ’t is great pity
The young man has been bred so ill; but this lewd age
Is full of such examples.

_Bel._ I am founder’d.
And some shall rue the setting of me on.

_Mir._ Ha! so bookish, lady? Is it possible?
Turn’d holy at the heart too? I ’ll be hang’d then: 76
Why, this is such a feat, such an activity,
Such fast and loose! A veil too for your knavery?
_O Dio, Dio!_

_Ros._ What do you take me for, sir?

_Mir._ An hypocrite, a wanton, a dissembler,
Howe’er ye seem: and thus ye are to be handled!— 81
Mark me, Belleur;—and this you love, I know it.

[_Attempts to remove the veil._]

_Ros._ Stand off, bold sir!

_Mir._ You wear good clothes to this end,
Jewels; love feasts and masques.

_Ros._ Ye are monstrous saucy.

_Mir._ All this to draw on fools: and thus, thus, lady,
[_Attempts to remove the veil._]
You are to be lull’d.

_Bel._ Let her alone, I ’ll swinge ye else, 86
I will, i’ faith! for, though I cannot skill o’ this matter
Myself, I will not see another do it before me,
And do it worse.

_Ros._ Away! ye are a vain thing.
You have travell’d far, sir, to return again 90
A windy and poor bladder. You talk of women,
That are not worth the favour of a common one,
The grace of her grew in an hospital!
Against a thousand such blown fooleries
I am able to maintain good women’s honours,
Their freedoms, and their fames, and I will do it.— 96

_Mir._ She has almost struck me dumb too.

_Ros._ And declaim
Against your base malicious tongues, your noises,
For they are nothing else. You teach behaviours!
Or touch us for our freedoms! Teach yourselves manners, 100
Truth and sobriety, and live so clearly
That our lives may shine in ye; and then task[3559] us.
It seems ye are hot; the suburbs[3560] will supply ye:
Good women scorn such gamesters.[3561] So, I ’ll leave ye.
I am sorry to see this: faith, sir, live fairly. 105

_Exit_ [_with_ ORIANA].

_Mir._ This woman, if she hold on, may be virtuous;
’T is almost possible: we ’ll have a new day.

_Bel._ Ye brought me on, ye forc’d me to this foolery.
I am sham’d, I am scorn’d, I am flurted;[3562] yes, I am so:
Though I cannot talk to a woman like your worship, 110
And use my phrases and my learn’d figures,
Yet I can fight with any man.

_Mir._ Fie!

_Bel._ I can, sir;
And I will fight.

_Mir._ With whom?

_Bel._ With you; with any man;
For all men now will laugh at me.

_Mir._ Prithee, be moderate.

_Bel._ And I ’ll beat all men. Come.

_Mir._ I love thee dearly. 115

_Bel._ I [will] beat all that love; love has undone me.
Never tell me; I will not be a history.

_Mir._ Thou art not.

_Bel._ ’Sfoot, I will not! Give me room,
And let me see the proudest of ye jeer me;
And I ’ll begin with you first.

_Mir._ Prithee, Belleur— 120
If I do not satisfy thee——

_Bel._ Well, look ye do.
But, now I think on’t better, ’t is impossible;
I must beat somebody. I am maul’d myself.
And I ought in justice——

_Mir._ No, no, no; you are cozen’d:
But walk, and let me talk to thee.

_Bel._ Talk wisely, 125
And see that no man laugh, upon no occasion;
For I shall think then ’t is at me.

_Mir._ I warrant thee.

_Bel._ Nor no more talk of this.

_Mir._ Dost think I am maddish?

_Bel._ I must needs fight yet; for I find it concerns me:
A pox on ’t: I must fight.

_Mir._ I’ faith, thou shalt not. _Exeunt._ 130