Chapter CXXI: Act IV: Dumb Show

_Enter Gentlemen_, VERMANDERO _meeting them with action of wonderment at the flight of_ PIRACQUO. _Enter_ ALSEMERO _with_ JASPERINO _and gallants_: VERMANDERO _points to him, the gentlemen seeming to applaud the choice_. ALSEMERO, JASPERINO, and GENTLEMEN; BEATRICE _the bride following in great state, accompanied with_ DIAPHANTA, ISABELLA, _and other gentlewomen_: DE FLORES _after all, smiling at the accident_: ALONZO’S _ghost appears to_ DE FLORES _in the midst of his smile, startles him, showing him the hand whose finger he had cut off. They pass over in great solemnity._[3970]

[SCENE I.][3971]

_Enter_ BEATRICE.

_Beat._ This fellow has undone me endlessly;
Never was bride so fearfully distrest.
The more I think upon th’ ensuing night,
And whom I am to cope with in embraces,
One [who ’s][3972] ennobled both in blood and mind,
So clear in understanding,—that’s my plague now— 6
Before whose judgment will my fault appear
Like malefactors’ crimes before tribunals.
There is no hiding on ’t, the more I dive
Into my own distress. How a wise man 10
Stands for[3973] a great calamity! There’s no venturing
Into his bed, what course soe’er I light upon,
Without my shame, which may grow up to danger.
He cannot but in justice strangle me
As I lie by him; as a cheater use me; 15
’T is a precious craft to play with a false die
Before a cunning gamester. Here ’s his closet;
The key left in ’t, and he abroad i’ th’ park!
Sure ’t was forgot; I ’ll be so bold as look in ’t. [_Opens closet._]
Bless me! a right physician’s closet ’t is, 20
Set round with vials; every one her mark too.
Sure he does practise physic for his own use,
Which may be safely call’d your great man’s wisdom.
What manuscript lies here? “The Book of Experiment,
Call’d Secrets in Nature.” So ’tis: ’t is so. 25
[_Reads._] “How to know whether a woman be with child or no.”
I hope I am not yet; if he should try though!
Let me see [_reads_] “folio forty-five,” here ’t is,
The leaf tuckt down upon ’t, the place suspicious. 29
[_Reads._] “If you would know whether a woman be with child or not,
give her two spoonfuls of the white water in glass C——”
Where ’s that glass C? O yonder, I see ’t now—
[_Reads._] “and if she be with child, she sleeps full twelve hours
after; if not, not:” 35
None of that water comes into my belly;
I ’ll know you from a hundred; I could break you now,
Or turn you into milk, and so beguile
The master of the mystery; but I ’ll look to you.
Ha! that which is next is ten times worse: 40
[_Reads._] “How to know whether a woman be a maid or not:”
If that should be appli’d, what would become of me?
Belike he has a strong faith of my purity,
That never yet made proof; but this he calls 45
[_Reads._] “A merry slight,[3974] but true experiment; the author
Antonius Mizaldus. Give the party you suspect the quantity of
a spoonful of the water in the glass M, which, upon her that
is a maid, makes three several effects; ’t will (50) make her
incontinently[3975] gape, then fall into a sudden sneezing, last into
a violent laughing; else, dull, heavy, and lumpish.”
Where had I been?
I fear it, yet ’t is seven hours to bed-time. 55

_Enter_ DIAPHANTA.

_Dia._ Cuds,[3976] madam, are you here?

_Beat._ Seeing that wench now,
A trick comes in my mind; ’t is a nice piece
Gold cannot purchase. [_Aside._]—I come hither, wench,
To look my lord.

_Dia._ Would I had such a cause
To look him too!—Why, he ’s i’ th’ park, madam. 60

_Beat._ There let him be.

_Dia._ Ay, madam, let him compass
Whole parks and forests, as great rangers do,
At roosting-time a little lodge can hold ’em.
Earth-conquering Alexander, that thought the world
Too narrow for him, in th’ end had but his pit-hole. 65

_Beat._ I fear thou art not modest, Diaphanta.

_Dia._ Your thoughts are so unwilling to be known, madam.
’T is ever the bride’s fashion, towards bed-time,
To set light by her joys, as if she ow’d ’em not.

_Beat._ Her joys? Her fears thou wouldst say.

_Dia._ Fear of what? 70

_Beat._ Art thou a maid, and talk’st so to a maid?
You leave a blushing business behind;
Beshrew your heart for ’t!

_Dia._ Do you mean good sooth, madam?

_Beat._ Well, if I ’d thought upon the fear at first,
Man should have been unknown.

_Dia._ Is ’t possible? 75

_Beat._ I ’d give a thousand ducats to that woman
Would try what my fear were, and tell me true
To-morrow, when she gets from ’t; as she likes,
I might perhaps be drawn to ’t.

_Dia._ Are you in earnest?

_Beat._ Do you get the woman, then challenge me, 80
And see if I ’ll fly from ’t; but I must tell you
This by the way, she must be a true maid,
Else there ’s no trial, my fears are not her’s else.

_Dia._ Nay, she that I would put into your hands, madam,
Shall be a maid.

_Beat._ You know I should be sham’d else, 85
Because she lies for me.

_Dia._ ’T is a strange humour![3977]
But are you serious still? Would you resign
Your first night’s pleasure, and give money too?

_Beat._ As willingly as live.—[_Aside._] Alas, the gold
Is but a by-bet to wedge in the honour! 90

_Dia._ I do not know how the world goes abroad
For faith or honesty; there ’s both requir’d in this.
Madam, what say you to me, and stray no further?
I ’ve a good mind, in troth, to earn your money.

_Beat._ You are too quick, I fear, to be a maid. 95

_Dia._ How? Not a maid? Nay, then you urge me, madam;
Your honourable self is not a truer,
With all your fears upon you——

_Beat._ [_Aside._] Bad enough then.

_Dia._ Than I with all my lightsome joys about me.

_Beat._ I ’m glad to hear ’t. Then you dare put your honesty[3978] 100
Upon an easy trial.

_Dia._ Easy? Anything.

_Beat._ I ’ll come to you straight. [_Goes to the closet._]

_Dia._ She will not search me, will she,
Like the forewoman of a female jury?[3979]

_Beat._ Glass M: ay, this is it. [_Brings vial._] Look, Diaphanta,
You take no worse than I do. [_Drinks._]

_Dia._ And in so doing, 105
I will not question what it is, but take it. [_Drinks._]

_Beat._ [_Aside._] Now if th’ experiment be true, ’t will praise itself,
And give me noble ease: begins already; [DIAPHANTA _gapes._]
There ’s the first symptom; and what haste it makes
To fall into the second, there by this time! 110
[DIAPHANTA _sneezes._]
Most admirable secret! on the contrary,
It stirs not me a whit, which most concerns it.

_Dia._ Ha, ha, ha!

_Beat._ [_Aside._] Just in all things, and in order
As if ’t were circumscrib’d; one accident[3980] 115
Gives way unto another.

_Dia._ Ha, ha, ha!

_Beat._ How now, wench?

_Dia._ Ha, ha, ha! I ’m so, so light
At heart—ha, ha, ha!—so pleasurable!
But one swig more, sweet madam.

_Beat._ Ay, to-morrow, 120
We shall have time to sit by ’t.

_Dia._ Now I ’m sad again.

_Beat._ [_Aside._] It lays itself so gently too!—Come, wench.
Most honest Diaphanta I dare call thee now.

_Dia._ Pray, tell me, madam, what trick call you this?

_Beat._ I ’ll tell thee all hereafter; we must study 125
The carriage of this business.

_Dia._ I shall carry ’t well,
Because I love the burthen.

_Beat._ About midnight
You must not fail to steal forth gently,
That I may use the place.

_Dia._ O, fear not, madam,
I shall be cool by that time. The bride’s place,
And with a thousand ducats! I ’m for a justice now, 131
I bring a portion with me; I scorn small fools. _Exeunt._

[SCENE II.][3981]

_Enter_ VERMANDERO _and_ Servant.

_Ver._ I tell thee, knave, mine honour is in question,
A thing till now free from suspicion,
Nor ever was there cause. Who of my gentlemen
Are absent? Tell me, and truly, how many, and who?

_Ser._ Antonio, sir, and Franciscus. 5

_Ver._ When did they leave the castle?

_Ser._ Some ten days, since, sir; the one intending to
Briamata, th’ other for Valencia.

_Ver._ The time accuses ’em; a charge of murder
Is brought within my castle-gate, Piracquo’s murder; 10
I dare not answer faithfully their absence.
A strict command of apprehension
Shall pursue ’em suddenly, and either wipe
The stain off clear, or openly discover it.
Provide me winged warrants for the purpose. _Exit Servant._ 15
See, I am set on again.

_Enter_ TOMASO.

_Tom._ I claim a brother of you.

_Ver._ You ’re too hot;
Seek him not here.

_Tom._ Yes, ’mongst your dearest bloods,
If my peace find no fairer satisfaction.
This is the place must yield account for him,
For here I left him; and the hasty tie 21
Of this snatcht marriage gives strong testimony
Of his most certain ruin.

_Ver._ Certain falsehood!
This is the place indeed; his breach of faith
Has too much marr’d both my abused love, 25
The honourable love I reserv’d for him,
And mockt my daughter’s joy; the prepar’d morning
Blusht at his infidelity; he left
Contempt and scorn to throw upon those friends
Whose belief hurt ’em. O, ’t was most ignoble
To take his flight so unexpectedly, 31
And throw such public wrongs on those that lov’d him!

_Tom._ Then this is all your answer?

_Ver._ ’T is too fair
For one of his alliance; and I warn you
That this place no more see you. _Exit._

_Enter_ DE FLORES.

_Tom._ The best is, 36
There is more ground to meet a man’s revenge on.—
Honest De Flores?

_De F._ That ’s my name indeed.
Saw you the bride? Good sweet sir, which way took she?

_Tom._ I ’ve blest mine eyes from seeing such a false one. 40

_De F._ [_Aside._] I ’d fain get off, this man’s not for my company;
I smell his brother’s blood when I come near him.

_Tom._ Come hither, kind and true one; I remember
My brother lov’d thee well.

_Dr F._ O, purely, dear sir!—
[_Aside._] Methinks I ’m now again a-killing on him, 45
He brings it so fresh to me.

_Tom._ Thou canst guess, sirrah—
[An][3982] honest friend has an instinct of jealousy—
At some foul guilty person.

_De F._ Alas! sir,
I am so charitable, I think none
Worse than myself! You did not see the bride then? 50

_Tom._ I prithee, name her not: is she not wicked?

_De F._ No, no; a pretty, easy, round-packt sinner,
As your most ladies are, else you might think
I flatter’d her; but, sir, at no hand wicked,
Till they ’re so old their chins and noses[3983] meet,
And they salute witches. I ’m call’d, I think, sir.— 56
[_Aside._] His company ev’n overlays my conscience. _Exit._

_Tom._ That De Flores has a wondrous honest heart!
He ’ll bring it out in time, I ’m assur’d on ’t.
O, here ’s the glorious master of the day’s joy!
’T[3984] will not be long till he and I do reckon.— 61
_Enter_ ALSEMERO.
Sir.

_Als._ You ’re most welcome.

_Tom._ You may call that word back;
I do not think I am, nor wish to be.

_Als._ ’T is strange you found the way to this house, then.

_Tom._ Would I ’d ne’er known the cause! I ’m none of those, sir, 65
That come to give you joy, and swill your wine;
’T is a more precious liquor that must lay
The fiery thirst I bring.

_Als._ Your words and you
Appear to me great strangers.

_Tom._ Time and our swords
May make us more acquainted. This the business: 70
I should have had a brother in your place;
How treachery and malice have dispos’d of him,
I ’m bound to inquire of him which holds his right,
Which never could come fairly.

_Als._ You must look
To answer for that word, sir.

_Tom._ Fear you not, 75
I ’ll have it ready drawn at our next meeting.
Keep your day solemn;[3985] farewell, I disturb it not;
I ’ll bear the smart with patience for a time. _Exit._

_Als._ ’T is somewhat ominous this; a quarrel ent’red
Upon this day; my innocence relieves me, 80
_Enter_ JASPERINO.
I should be wondrous sad else.—Jasperino,
I ’ve news to tell thee, strange news.

_Jasp._ I ha’ some too,
I think as strange as yours. Would I might keep
Mine, so my faith and friendship might be kept in ’t!
Faith, sir, dispense a little with my zeal, 85
And let it cool in this.

_Als._ This puts me on,
And blames thee for thy slowness.

_Jas._ All may prove nothing,
Only a friendly fear that leapt from me, sir.

_Als._ No question, ’t may prove nothing; let ’s partake it though.

_Jas._ ’T was Diaphanta’s chance—for to that wench 90
I pretend[3986] honest love, and she deserves it—
To leave me in a back part of the house,
A place we chose for private conference.
She was no sooner gone, but instantly
I heard your bride’s voice in the next room to me; 95
And lending more attention, found De Flores
Louder than she.

_Als._ De Flores! Thou art out now.

_Jas._ You ’ll tell me more anon.

_Als._ Still I ’ll prevent[3987] thee,
The very sight of him is poison to her.

_Jas._ That made me stagger too; but Diaphanta 100
At her return confirm’d it.

_Als._ Diaphanta!

_Jas._ Then fell we both to listen, and words past
Like those that challenge interest in a woman.

_Als._ Peace: quench thy zeal, ’t is dangerous to thy bosom.

_Jas._ Then truth is full of peril.

_Als._ Such truths are.
O, were she the sole glory of the earth, 106
Had eyes that could shoot fire into king’s breasts,
And toucht,[3988] she sleeps not here! Yet I have time,
Though night be near, to be resolv’d hereof;
And, prithee, do not weigh me by my passions.

_Jas._ I never weigh’d friend so.

_Als._ Done charitably! 111
That key will lead thee to a pretty secret, [_Giving key._]
By a Chaldean taught me, and I have
My study upon some. Bring from my closet
A glass inscrib’d there with the letter M, 115
And question not my purpose.

_Jas._ It shall be done, sir. _Exit._

_Als._ How can this hang together? Not an hour since
Her woman came pleading her lady’s fears,
Deliver’d her for the most timorous virgin
That ever shrunk at man’s name, and so modest, 120
She charg’d her weep out her request to me,
That she might come obscurely to my bosom.

_Enter_ BEATRICE.

_Beat._ [_Aside._] All things go well; my woman ’s preparing yonder
For her sweet voyage, which grieves me to lose;
Necessity compels it; I lose all, else. 125

_Als._ [_Aside._] Pish! modesty’s shrine is set in yonder forehead:
I cannot be too sure though.—My Joanna!

_Beat._ Sir, I was bold to weep a message to you;
Pardon my modest fears.

_Als._ The dove ’s not meeker;
[_Aside._] She ’s abus’d, questionless.
_Re-enter_ JASPERINO [_with vial_].
O, are you come, sir?

_Beat._ [_Aside._] The glass, upon my life! I see the letter. 131

_Jas._ Sir, this is M. [_Giving vial._]

_Als._ ’T is it.

_Beat._ [_Aside._] I am suspected.

_Als._ How fitly our bride comes to partake with us!

_Beat._ What is ’t, my lord?

_Als._ No hurt.

_Beat._ Sir, pardon me,
I seldom taste of any composition. 135

_Als._ But this, upon my warrant, you shall venture on.

_Beat._ I fear ’t will make me ill.

_Als._ Heaven forbid that.

_Beat._ [_Aside._] I ’m put now to my cunning: th’ effects I know,
If I can now but feign ’em handsomely. [_Drinks._]

_Als._ It has that secret virtue, it ne’er mist, sir, 140
Upon a virgin.

_Jas._ Treble-qualitied? [BEATRICE _gapes and sneezes_.]

_Als._ By all that ’s virtuous it takes there! proceeds!

_Jas._ This is the strangest trick to know a maid by.

_Beat._ Ha, ha, ha!
You have given me joy of heart to drink, my lord. 145

_Als._ No, thou hast given me such joy of heart,
That never can be blasted.

_Beat._ What ’s the matter, sir?

_Als._ [_Aside._] See now ’t is settled in a melancholy;
Keeps both the time and method.—My Joanna,
Chaste as the breath of Heaven, or morning’s womb, 150
That brings the day forth! thus my love encloses thee. _Exeunt._

[SCENE III.][3989]

_Enter_ ISABELLA _and_ LOLLIO.

_Isa._ O Heaven! is this the [waning][3990] moon?
Does love turn fool, run mad, and all at once?
Sirrah, here ’s a madman, akin to the fool too,
A lunatic lover.

_Lol._ No, no, not he I brought the letter from? 5

_Isa._ Compare his inside with his out, and tell me.

_Lol._ The out ’s mad, I’m sure of that; I had a taste on ’t. [_Reads
letter._] “To the bright Andromeda, chief chambermaid to the Knight
of the Sun, at the sign of Scorpio, in the (10) middle region, sent
by the bellows-mender of Aeolus. Pay the post.” This is stark madness!

_Isa._ Now mark the inside. [_Takes the letter and reads._] “Sweet
lady, having now cast off this counterfeit cover of a madman, I
appear (15) to your best judgment a true and faithful lover of your
beauty.”

_Lol._ He is mad still.

_Isa._ [_reads._] “If any fault you find, chide those perfections
in you which have made (20) me imperfect; ’t is the same sun that
causeth to grow and enforceth to wither——”

_Lol._ O rogue!

_Isa._ [_reads._] “Shapes and transhapes, destroys and builds again.
I come in winter to (25) you, dismantled of my proper ornaments; by
the sweet splendour of your cheerful smiles, I spring and live a
lover.”

_Lol._ Mad rascal still!

_Isa._ [_reads._] “Tread him not under foot, (30) that shall appear
an honour to your bounties. I remain—mad till I speak with you, from
whom I expect my cure, yours all, or one beside himself, FRANCISCUS.”

_Lol._ You are like to have a fine time on ’t. (35) My master and I
may give over our professions; I do not think but you can cure fools
and madmen faster than we, with little pains too.

_Isa._ Very likely.

_Lol._ One thing I must tell you, mistress: (40) you perceive that I
am privy to your skill; if I find you minister once, and set up the
trade, I put in for my thirds; I shall be mad or fool else.

_Isa._ The first place is thine, believe it, Lollio,
If I do fall.

_Lol._ I fall upon you.

_Isa._ So. 45

_Lol._ Well, I stand to my venture.

_Isa._ But thy counsel now; how shall I deal with ’em?

_Lol._ [Why,] do you mean to deal with ’em?

_Isa._ Nay, the fair understanding,[3991] how to use ’em. 50

_Lol._ Abuse[3992] ’em! That’s the way to mad the fool, and make a
fool of the madman, and then you use ’em kindly.

_Isa._ ’T is easy, I ’ll practise; do thou observe it.
The key of thy wardrobe. 55

_Lol._ There [_gives key_]; fit yourself for ’em, and I ’ll fit ’em
both for you.

_Isa._ Take thou no further notice than the outside. _Exit._

_Lol._ Not an inch; I ’ll put you to the inside.

_Enter_ ALIBIUS.

_Alib._ Lollio, art there? Will all be perfect, think’st thou? 60
To-morrow night, as if to close up the
Solemnity, Vermandero expects us.

_Lol._ I mistrust the madmen most; the fools will do well enough; I
have taken pains with them. 65

_Alib._ Tush! they cannot miss; the more absurdity,
The more commends it, so[3993] no rough behaviours
Affright the ladies; they ’re nice[3994] things, thou know’st.

_Lol._ You need not fear, sir; so long as we
are there with our commanding pizzles, they ’ll
be as tame as the ladies themselves. 71

_Alib._ I ’ll see them once more rehearse before
they go.

_Lol._ I was about it, sir: look you to the madmen’s morris, and let
me alone with the other. There is one or two that I mistrust their 76
fooling; I ’ll instruct them, and then they shall rehearse the
whole measure.

_Alib._ Do so; I ’ll see the music prepar’d: but, Lollio,
By the way, how does my wife brook her restraint? 80
Does she not grudge at it?

_Lol._ So, so; she takes some pleasure in the house, she would abroad
else. You must allow her a little more length, she ’s kept too short.

_Alib._ She shall along to Vermandero’s with us, 85
That will serve her for a month’s liberty.

_Lol._ What ’s that, on your face, sir?

_Alib._ Where, Lollio? I see nothing.

_Lol._ Cry you mercy,[3995] sir, ’t is your nose; it
show’d like the trunk of a young elephant.[3996] 90

_Alib._ Away, rascal! I ’ll prepare the music, Lollio. _Exit._

_Lol._ Do, sir, and I ’ll dance the whilst.—
Tony, where art thou, Tony?

_Enter_ ANTONIO.

_Ant._ Here, cousin; where art thou?

_Lol._ Come, Tony, the footmanship I taught you. 95

_Ant._ I had rather ride, cousin.

_Lol._ Ay, a whip take you! but I ’ll keep you out; vault in: look
you, Tony; fa, la, la, la, la. [_Dances._]

_Ant._ Fa, la, la, la, la. [_Sings and dances._] 100

_Lol._ There, an honour.

_Ant._ Is this an honour, coz?

_Lol._ Yes, an it please your worship.

_Ant._ Does honour bend in the hams, coz?

_Lol._ Marry does it, as low as worship, (105) squireship, nay,
yeomanry itself sometimes, from whence it first stiffened: there
rise, a caper.

_Ant._ Caper after an honour, coz?

_Lol._ Very proper, for honour is but a caper, rises as fast and
high, has a knee or two, and (110) falls to th’ ground again. You can
remember your figure, Tony?

_Ant._ Yes, cousin; when I see thy figure, I can remember mine.
_Exit_ LOLLIO.

_Re-enter_ ISABELLA, [_dressed as a madwoman_.]

_Isa._ Hey, how he[3997] treads the air! Shough, shough, t’ other
way! he burns his wings else. (116) Here ’s wax enough below, Icarus,
more than will be cancelled these eighteen moons. He ’s down, he ’s
down! what a terrible fall he had!
Stand up, thou son of Cretan Daedalus, 120
And let us tread the lower labyrinth;
I ’ll bring thee to the clue.

_Ant._ Prithee, coz, let me alone.

_Isa._ Art thou not drown’d?
About thy head I saw a heap of clouds
Wrapt like a Turkish turban; on thy back 125
A crookt chameleon-colour’d rainbow hung
Like a tiara down unto thy hams.
Let me suck out those billows in thy belly;
Hark, how they roar and rumble in the straits![3998]
Bless thee from the pirates! 130

_Ant._ Pox upon you, let me alone!

_Isa._ Why shouldst thou mount so high as Mercury,
Unless thou hadst reversion of his place?
Stay in the moon with me, Endymion,
And we will rule these wild rebellious waves,
That would have drown’d my love.

_Ant._ I ’ll kick thee, if 136
Again thou touch me, thou wild unshapen antic;
I am no fool, you bedlam!

_Isa._ But you are, as sure as I am, mad.
Have I put on this habit of a frantic, 140
With love as full of fury, to beguile
The nimble eye of watchful jealousy,
And am I thus rewarded?

_Ant._ Ha! dearest beauty!

_Isa._ No, I have no beauty now, 144
Nor never had but what was in my garments.
You a quick-sighted lover! Come not near me:
Keep your caparisons, you ’re aptly clad;
I came a feigner, to return stark mad. _Exit._

_Ant._ Stay, or I shall change condition,
And become as you are. 150

_Re-enter_ LOLLIO.

_Lol._ Why, Tony, whither now? Why, fool——

_Ant._ Whose fool, usher of idiots? You coxcomb!
I have fool’d too much.

_Lol._ You were best be mad another while then.

_Ant._ So I am, stark mad; I have cause enough; 155
And I could throw the full effects on thee,
And beat thee like a fury.

_Lol._ Do not, do not; I shall not forbear the gentleman under the
fool, if you do. Alas! I saw through your fox-skin before now! Come,
I can give you comfort; my mistress loves (161) you; and there is as
arrant a madman i’ th’ house as you are a fool, your rival, whom she
loves not. If after the masque we can rid her of him, you earn her
love, she says, and the fool shall ride her. 166

_Ant._ May I believe thee?

_Lol._ Yes, or you may choose whether you will or no.

_Ant._ She ’s eas’d of him; I ’ve a good quarrel on ’t.

_Lol._ Well, keep your old station yet, and be quiet. 170

_Ant._ Tell her I will deserve her love. [_Exit._]

_Lol._ And you are like to have your desert.

_Enter_ FRANCISCUS.

_Fran._ [_sings._] “Down, down, down, a-down a-down,”—and then with
a horse-trick
To kick Latona’s forehead, and break her bowstring.

_Lol._ This is t’ other counterfeit: I ’ll put (175) him out of his
humour. [_Aside. Takes out a letter and reads._] “Sweet lady, having
now cast this counterfeit cover of a madman, I appear to your best
judgment a true and faithful lover of your beauty.” This is pretty
well for a madman. 180

_Fran._ Ha! what ’s that?

_Lol._ [_reads._] “Chide those perfections in you which have made me
imperfect.”

_Fran._ I am discover’d to the fool.

_Lol._ I hope to discover the fool in you ere (185) I have done with
you. [_Reads._] “Yours all, or one beside himself, FRANCISCUS.” This
madman will mend sure.

_Fran._ What do you read, sirrah?

_Lol._ Your destiny, sir; you ’ll be hang’d for this trick, and
another that I know. 191

_Fran._ Art thou of counsel with thy mistress?

_Lol._ Next her apron-strings.

_Fran._ Give me thy hand.

_Lol._ Stay, let me put yours in my pocket first. [_Putting letter
into his pocket._] Your hand is (196) true,[3999] is it not? It will
not pick? I partly fear it, because I think it does lie.

_Fran._ Not in a syllable.

_Lol._ So if you love my mistress so well as you have handled the
matter here, you are like (201) to be cur’d of your madness.

_Fran._ And none but she can cure it.

_Lol._ Well, I ’ll give you over then, and she shall cast your water
next. 205

_Fran._ Take for thy pains past. [_Gives him money._]

_Lol._ I shall deserve more, sir, I hope. My mistress loves you, but
must have some proof of your love to her.

_Fran._ There I meet my wishes. 210

_Lol._ That will not serve, you must meet her enemy and yours.

_Fran._ He ’s dead already.

_Lol._ Will you tell me that, and I parted but now with him? 215

_Fran._ Show me the man.

_Lol._ Ay, that ’s a right course now; see him before you kill him,
in any case; and yet it needs not go so far neither. ’T is but a fool
that haunts the house and my mistress in the (220) shape of an idiot;
bang but his fool’s coat well-favouredly, and ’t is well.

_Fran._ Soundly, soundly!

_Lol._ Only reserve him till the masque be past; and if you find
him not now in the dance (225) yourself, I ’ll show you. In, in! my
master! [_Dancing._]

_Fran._ He handles him like a feather. Hey! [_Exit._]

_Enter_ ALIBIUS.

_Alib._ Well said: in a readiness, Lollio?

_Lol._ Yes, sir. 229

_Alib._ Away then, and guide them in, Lollio:
Entreat your mistress to see this sight.
Hark, is there not one incurable fool
That might be begg’d?[4000] I ’ve friends.

_Lol._ I have him for you,
One that shall deserve it too.

_Alib._ Good boy, Lollio! _The madmen and fools dance._
’T is perfect: well, fit but once these strains, 236
We shall have coin and credit for our pains. _Exeunt._