Chapter XXI: List of Housen Tew Let

FURNISHED AND UNFURNISHED.

BI * * * * *.

_Real Estate Agent and Property Broker._

_Number One_--Gothick cottage, (with chimbleys, and windo blinds attached,) and water, (in the suller,) lokated for the present on the south-east angle ov Soap and Myrtle streets; house kontains a bay windo; would suit a lawyer or a blacksmith. Rent, for the summer months, (including the good will ov the naberhood,) $4,500. No children and doggs aloud on the premises. Cards, tew view the hous, kan be obtained ov the agent (admitting a gentleman and 2 ladys) for the trifling sum ov 5 dollars. N.B.--This hous waz taken yesterday, and customers are forbid tew bother the agent bi inquiring about it.

_Number Two_--Will be tew rent in a fu daze; the hous iz being put in perfeck order bi being whitewashed, and the floor sprinkled with sum sand. This hous is a cross ov the Ionian & Dorick style, waz built when lumber waz skarse, and iz almitey hard finished throughout, rat-holes awl plugged up, and a bottle ov bed bugg pizen, neatly labeled, and hung up in each room. To a tenant who kan bring testimony, and a good pedigree, this hous would be leased for a term ov 30 or 40 years, for about 2,500 hundred dollars a year, the tenant tew pay the taxes, and remove the mortgages now on the premises, and put in the gass, and git the hous insured for 6,000 dollars, and assign the polisy tew the agent az collatteral security for the faithful performanse ov the kontrakt. N.B.--If thare iz enny things else that i hav forgot tew menshun about the terms, the tenant kan hav them inserted, when the papers are drawed up, without extra charge.

_Number Three_--Iz kompletely furnished with gass fixtures and meether, and ile cloth in the front hall, and pegs in the closets, and back verandy. This delightful property iz now occupied bi a phisician, ("whose sands ov life hav about run out,") and sum ov the rent would be took in boarding the phisician ("whose sand iz about run thru,") and hiz wife, and wife's oldest sister, and her unkle, and the 9 children, who are awl lite eaters, havin bin kept for the laste 6 months on sperm kandle soup. Tew a tenant who could loan the phisician $1,500 or two thousand dollars, and take a first mortgage on the furniture in the hous, a liberal rent would be named, payable quarterly in advanse. P.S.--fust cum, fust git.

_Number Four_--Iz the property ov a two-millionaire, who iz about going tew Urope with hiz entire family, tew spend sum munny. This hous haz one ov Chickering's 10 oktave, iron-frame, overstrung bass, rosewood, round kornered, pearl keyed, pianners, built expressly for the owner bi Mr. Chickering himself, after the design ov the pantheon in Rome, (Italy,) and also haz a hole cut thru the roof, from which the North star kan be distinktly seen with the naked eye. Rent iz no objeck--tew a small family ov one or two persons, this hous could be had, if applied for within 2 daze, at the nominal prise ov 20,000 dollars a month, reckoning 26 working days tew the month.

_Also_--A superb hoss ov a black culler, warranted 16 hands hi, ov grate enduranse, tew stand without tieing, and kan trot in 2:53; would make a good card for a hearse hoss.