Chapter LX: Josh Chaws His Cud

Earthli glory is sum like potatoze on very ritch sile,--top plenty,--tater skase.

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It aint so much trouble tew _git_ ritch, as it is tew tell when we hav _got_ ritch.

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The most bitter sarkasm sleeps in silent words.

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It is unkommon hard tew annihilate a man with words,--altho it is often undertook.

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Hope is evryboddy's handmaid--she is a sli coquet and promises menny favors, but grants only a fu, and them are badly diskounted.

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If yu want tew git at the circumference ov a man, examine him among men,--but if yu want tew get at his aktual diameter, meazure him at his fireside.

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Thare is nothing so difficult tew hide as our follys.

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Thare seems tew be 4 styles ov mind,--

1st, them who know it _iz_ so!

2d, them who know it _aint_ so!

3d, them who split the diffrence, and guess at it!

4th, them who don't care a darn which way it is!

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Thare is but few men who hav karackter enuff tew lead a life ov idleness.

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True Love is spelt just the same in Choctaw, as it is in English.

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Thoze who retire from the world on akount ov its sin and peskyness, must not forgit that they hav got tew keep kompany with a person who wants just as much watching as ennyboddy else.

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Buty that don't make a woman vain makes her very butiful.

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A puppy plays with evry pup he meets, but old dorgs hav but fu associates.

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He who buys what he kant want, will ear long want what he kant buy.

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It kosts a good deal tew be wise, but it don't kost ennything tew be happy.

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Necessity begot Invenshun, Invenshun begot Convenience, Convenience begot Pleasure, Pleasure begot Luxury, Luxury begot Riot and Disease, Riot and Disease, between them, begot Poverty, and Poverty begot Necessity again,--this is the revolushun ov man, and is about aul he kan brag on.

Power either makes a man a tyrant, or a tool.

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Thare is no such thing as flattery,--if commendashun is deserved, it is no flattery, but truth, and if commendashun is undeserved, it is not flattery, but slander.

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"Man was kreated a little lower than the Angels,"--and it is lucky for the said Angels that he was.

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"The luxury ov grief!"--this, i take it, means tew hav yure old unkle die, and leave yu $9000, and yu cry.

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"Love lies bleeding!"--this is probably one ov the bludiest lies that ever was told.

as a Roman Warrior, armed with every symbol of house-cleaning apparatus, and waging war upon all unoffending people who are not willing to have their apartments thoroughly cleaned every day.--_See page 193._]