Chapter XXVII: Love

The only natural feeling the young heart possesses is love. It is the first good thing the heart dus, and in after life it is often the only good thing it dus.

Thare is no posatif virtue in love, and yet it may be the result ov the holyest ov virtues.

But thare is, in this life, a vast deal ov Pontoon love, that has no more virtue in it than wooden nutmegs hav.

Thare is, "Love undying," that generally lives about as long as uncorked ginger pop dus.

Thare is "Love Untold," which is alwus told tew ennyboddy who will listen to it, and is as full ov pathos as a pork and beans nightmare.

And thare is "Love at sight," to which I will add Love for 90 days.

These are sum ov the different kinds ov love that are denominated pashun, and form much ov the trading capital that lovers do bissness on.

There is not much sin in these different styles ov love; they don't seem tew git up tew the dignity ov sin; thare is deception in them without doubt; but the deception is like Costar's celebrated Rat Exterminator, it won't hurt ennyboddy else but the rats.

I am not prepared to say that I would like to see these things dun away with, for sumthing wuss might spring up in the place ov them; they seem tew be necessary in carrying on a trade in which judgment has to yield to fancy, and fancy is too often forced to yield to nonsense.

If we could (enny ov us) have our old courtship written out and given to us for perusal, we should probably look upon it as we would upon a Chinese comick almanick, unable tew understand the pikturs and satisfied that the astronomical calculations were never designed for our latitude.