Chapter XXXII: Politeness

I hav looked into the philosophy ov politeness, with grate fierceness, and see the thing in the followin light:

Ginowine politeness is a nice mixture ov vanity and good natur, invigerated bi virtue, and chastened bi policy.

It will take a man along slikly, whose money and impudence, and even religion, singly, would git stuck.

Nobody can stand, without quailing, before a broadside ov ginowine politeness; it will make even a Pawnee Injun grow limber.

It mite not save a man from gitting kicked bi a mule, but it would save him from gitting near enuff tew git kicked.

Thare is one other compound in ginowine perliteness, which gives it terrifick force, and that is deference.

Deference will win oftener than double sixes.

If you want tew beat a man out ov his opinyun, let him hav his own way till you cum tew the forks in the road, then you kan take him jist which road you please.

I am not prepared tew call deference always a virtue, bekause it may exist, and only be an art, or stratagem.

If it is natural, it quite often degenerates into servility, and if artifishall, it merges into fraud, or cunning. Love without deference, is nothing more than a raid.

The deference that exists between equals, (altho pleasant tew look upon,) is not alwus flatterin tew think about; lions are necessarily polite tew each other, but when lions bekum polite tew the lams, then will deference reveal its true sublimity.

Thare is 2 kinds of politeness, the ripe, and the too mutch ripe politeness; a goose has a grate deal ov this last kind ov politeness; i have seen them lower their heds while going into a barn door, that was 18 foot high.

JOSH BILLINGS.